The best part of a benefit is lost if the benefit can be sued for law, as in the case of a loan, or of letting and hiring. Indeed, the finest part of a benefit is that we have given it without considering whether we shall lose it or not, that we have left all this to the free choice of him who receives it: if I call him before a judge, it begins to be not a benefit, but a loan. – Seneca
Victim Theory
- People are constantly giving out signals about what they lack
- People long for completeness
- Something we need but cannot get on our own
- Well all sense some gap in our character
- Nobody feels whole and complete
- Focus – Slowly outline missing pieces to view
- Get them to talk about their past and past romances
- Offhand comments
- Gestures/ Clothes
- Certain looks in the eyes
- Missing pieces in their psyche – Raw material
- People gaps
Next, Though it is a most honourable thing to show gratitude, it ceases to be honourable if it is forced, for in that case no one will praise a grateful man any more than he praises him who restores the money which was deposited in his keeping, or who pays what he borrowed without the intervention of a judge. Seneca
If you concentrate exclusively on victory, with no thought for the after-effects, you may be too exhausted to profit from the peace, while it is almost certain that the peace will be a bad one, containing the germs of another war. This is a lesson supported by abundant experience. STRATEGY, B.H. LIDDELL HART 1954
Reformed Rake/Siren
- Victim type – Unfaithful by nature
- Were once happy-go-lucky seducers- However:
- Social hostility
- Getting older and settled
- Feel resentment and loss
- Ripe for picking
- Required – offer them to resume
- Critical to give them the illusion that they are seducing
As Yasuda Ykyo said about offering up the last wine cup, only the end of things is important. One’s whole life should be like this. When guests are leaving, the mood of being reluctant to say farewell is essential – Yamamoto Tsunentomo, Hegakure: The Book of the samurai (1659-1720)